The Sleeping announced their return this year bringing together the original line-up for the first time in 17 years. Frontman Douglas Robinson speaks to Dom Smith on the reunion, mental health, touring, and the importance of the band’s UK fanbase.
Fan support
The Sleeping’s new album I Feel Like I’m Becoming A Ghost, was crowd-funded through a Kickstarter launched in March. Discussing the band’s growing loyal fanbase Douglas comments:
“It’s interesting, it’s been so long and we’ve all been out of this element but it really is a beautiful, otherworldly feeling when you see people coming together for something you haven’t touched in a very long time. To see the Kickstarter reach its goal in such a short amount of time and people really believe in what we’re doing I just think it’s really cool and it means a lot to me. When you stop being in a band, you lose self-confidence. People don’t know what it’s like. I’m sure people know what it’s like in the sense of when you follow a dream or you have that one thing you love that goes away kind of thing, where, for those who don’t know, it’s a very difficult thing when you lose a part of what you love and when your band is your whole life. And this is in the earlier stages of being in a band, when you’re like no side projects. Like, this is the band. When that stuff goes away, you lose a part of yourself and you kind of hide away from people because you’re just like, well, man, what good am I to people who worked this record and blah, blah, blah now that I’m not in a band anymore? And you lose friendships that you kind of thought they’re always still there but your insecurities get the best of you when you’re leaving these friendships kind of ducking out of things. So, to be immersed again and see people responding as beautifully as they are, it means a lot because it definitely helps me with my insecurity realise that people still care.”
Change and personal growth
With The Sleeping reuniting, Douglas’ life was about to change: “There’s definitely that feeling of, I have grown accustomed to the simpler life, I guess you can say the subtle life, not simpler, as in it doesn’t underplay anyone else’s love for living a life like this. I had to get used to it for a while. It was unsettling, you know, I was like, oh my God, I need to be away all the time, you know, but the more I fell in love with my wife and realized, like, oh, this is kind of like what I really want. But it’s interesting now because I think what’s really cool about it is we all want to do this on our own terms now. And there’s kind of no all or nothing. Even though there is an all-or-nothing. It’s not like we’re going to be under a bridge if it goes sideways or whatever. It’s like we all came to the conscious decision to do this again. Everybody’s got their lives. Sal has two kids. Cameron has been living in Mexico and kind of living all over the world. Joe tours with Bob Moses as their drummer.
So, I mean, everyone’s got this other life and to choose to come back and I think the catalyst for us was just like, let’s just go and make a record and have fun. Let’s just see what happens. Let’s see what it’s going to be like. No expectations. Let’s just make a record again, see if we even have it together, if the chemistry is still there, which we’re all very close to, but so many years have passed. Let’s try this. And making the record and then getting the record back and hearing it in its entirety and hearing the songs how they ended up, we’re like, oh, shit, this is good. We have something that we’ve never had before. We’ve always been proud of our music, but this is by far something very special to us that we just didn’t expect. And we’re getting, like, a really great reaction from people already starting to hear the record, being like, oh, this is different but it’s still you guys and it’s different in the best way. And that’s kind of what it was all about.”
Mental Health Matters
Douglas has been open about his struggles with mental health more recently, speaking about how his struggles have given him a new appreciation for life, he reflects: “I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t for good and bad times. And my appreciation now is not for lack of appreciation. Back in the day, I think when you’re young, you’re just tunnel vision. I’ve had a different upbringing in my life where there are other people who had their heads on straight a little more. Back in the day, I had an upbringing that caused me to just sort of be in limbo all the time, abandonment issues, things like that. And I was never not appreciative of everything awesome that happened in our band. It was just always like, in the moment, tunnel vision, not seeing a grander scope. And that’s the beautiful thing about being older. When you’re older and you have these things, you’re able to see a bigger scope of life and a grander vision. And back in the day, I wasn’t fortunate enough to have that mental space yet, and that I didn’t grow in that way yet. So, most of my life was just like in the moment, yeah, let’s do this, or let’s go here. Whatever the case where if I had the chance again, I wouldn’t change anything except for being a little more ‘big picture’. And that’s where the appreciation comes from. Now I think I’m able to see the bigger picture in the life of everything, and I don’t want to take those things for granted.”
Anxiety on stage
Being the frontman of a band, Douglas often has the spotlight on him while on stage. Struggling with anxiety, he discusses how he is able to overcome this to perform: “I am the happiest when I’m on stage. Nothing matters when I’m on stage. And honestly, when it’s over, I don’t even realise really what happened. You know what I mean? I do strongly believe it was what I was meant to do. And I think the anxieties in life that I face now really come from the fact that I have to get used to this world where I want it again. But how do I do it the right way? And the anxiety of whether will it work? Will it be successful?
That is really a big struggle and that’s just the band aspect. I mean, my whole life is like that. Will it work? Will I be okay? That’s in everything I do. I’m a very big overthinker. I’ve been talking to some people. I’m wondering what I might have ADHD. I’m not sure, but I think that when I’m on stage, nothing matters. I’m never happier than when I’m on stage. I don’t care where it is, who it is, I just want to play. And I think I battle with the anxiety of wanting to be on stage all the time, but not wanting to leave my comfort zone all the time, which, even though I’m comfortable on stage, but my comfort zone of life. Like having to sweat for an hour after the show until I can shower or if a shower is working in the green room. Little things like that, obviously are just on the minutiae. But that’s what I already started thinking about in my head of the comfortability of how it’s going to be now because we’ve only played a couple of shows since and they’ve been more local return shows where when we start traveling again, UK going overseas. How am I going to do without my wife in terms of am I going to have anxiety not being near her because I talk to her every day? The time zone, my dog who’s right next to me right now, my cat who really doesn’t care if I’m there or not, but loves me to death. But that’s what I face. And that’s just not in the band as well. It’s just my life in general. When I step outside all the time, I have anxiety of just like, is everything going to be all right? And when I don’t feel like that, when I know everything is all right is when I’m on [stage].”
Getting Support
Douglas reiterates the importance of talking to people when you are struggling: “I felt like I had to make a post because it’s hard to tell everyone separately, hey, I think I’m going through shit because I’m also not trying to get anyone’s sympathy. I’m trying to just work through this myself. And I just felt like I had to say that on my Instagram, where most people I know personally are on there so they’ll see it at once. And a lot of those people I do think about did reach out. So that’s all I wanted. I just wanted people to know, hey, I’m only not around because I’m dealing with something. It’s not because I’m ditching people or I think I’m too cool for anything. That’s just what I’m going through. So I think that post really helped and that is why I’m realizing it felt good to do that. So why not talk about it here. And it sucks because it’s during the time of the record release and I don’t ever want to seem performative. I don’t like talking about myself at all. But you know what? It’s like I’ve never done that. And now I feel like maybe the time is now, so maybe it helps me and maybe it does help other people with this world of mental health.
Now, again, this is my anxiety always dealing with does this sound performative or am I being genuine? Because I don’t want to be this performative person. I don’t want to talk about this stuff if I feel it’s for anything other than just being honest. And that’s why I’m okay with actually starting to talk about it, because it is really how I feel. And I don’t care if anyone buys the record or not because of these feelings. This is just how I feel. And why not talk about it? Because it is what the record is about. I mean, it’s about being scared of being in a band again. Is it going to work? Am I going to leave all the time? It’s about my relationship with my wife. I mean, obviously, we have a great relationship, but every relationship is work. But it’s beyond just that. It’s knowing things are my fault, it’s knowing when I’m wrong. And it’s also just the fear of just being outside and happy. Because so many times I don’t feel the way I feel like I should feel on a beautiful day or whatever the case is, and feeling alone. And I think I realized what these songs wound up being about as the pen went to paper. And I think that is why I’m more open to speaking about this stuff now. And I don’t want to make it all about that I’m going to get through this stuff. But it is what it’s about. If that helps anyone else, cool.”
Touring the UK
Douglas ends our chat by speaking about his love for Europe and the UK specifically. He says he has the desire to come back to the UK, Douglas explains why he loves the country so much: “Honestly, I can get emotional about this because the UK has always been one of my favourite places and Europe in general. I just love being immersed in another culture where music is why I’m there and I know so many great people in the UK. Just overall good friends that I’ve met throughout my life. And I’ll never forget the first time we got to the UK, we were on tour and I’m like walking along the streets of London and it’s pouring with rain. I have like a hole in the bottom of my van shoe, right through my sock. I can feel the rain just sopping up into my shoe and into my sock and I’m rubbing my hands along the brick walls as I’m walking and just thinking to myself, ‘This is where the fucking Clash is from’. You know what I mean? This is where it all happened. And I just remember walking for five blocks. I just kept running my fingers along the buildings and just feeling almost as if I can feel the music. And I want to go back so bad. As I mentioned, we’re really starting this from the ground up again. We are in a world where people have forgotten about us, and let’s be honest, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way and to admit it, but we know there are people out there. We’re trying to get our team overseas together because we really want to make our way back. I mean, I’ve been pushing it for months. We need to get back to the UK, and I think it’s just a matter of time.
And I just want to say, we don’t know who’s out there over there, but thank you. I wish I had a tally of you guys got to come back. All these people, right? It could literally be the people who worked for us, and you being so kind at that point. I don’t really know anyone else. We get messages here and there, but we were a band that didn’t care about our aesthetic in the sense of, like, we didn’t get an Instagram when everyone should have got one. I think we started ours a few years ago, but we didn’t start posting until we became a band last year or whatever. We never thought, the bigger picture, right? And now we’re starting to really understand why these things were important. But it’s better late than never for us. It’s in the cards for us to get back there. I wish there was a way to see how many people want to see us back there, because it’s taking a big risk, what if no one even comes? And it’s not the point of the number of people again. It’s just logistically, right? So, I mean, to all those people out there, whoever you are, get us back there. Help us get back there. We love you guys, and I love you guys. I just want to be immersed in these places that make me feel the music that changed me, you know what I mean? And to just wake up again in the UK and walk Camden’s Lock or whatever, those are special moments. I have so many cool memories of the UK. It’s crazy. I mean, I just want to go back so bad.
Words: Jay Mitchell / Interview: Dom Smith
I Feel Like I’m Becoming A Ghost releases August 18th.
